Playing With Food
by MonPhoenix
Summary: Gumshoe screws up yet again... Miles treats him to dinner, but...


That day started out as every other day in the life of our favorite detective, Dick Gumshoe. He overslept for work, ran to the police department with toast in his mouth, and, after being scolded by the chief, he went to assist Mr. Edgeworth with his investigation. As soon as they arrived at the crime scene, Edgeworth ordered the detective to go look for the murder weapon.

Gumshoe, for once, had an easy job. He found a wooden spear in a nearby trashcan. Since the tip was bloody, there was no doubt this was the murder weapon.

„So, this is the murder weapon. I wonder how the murder played out?" Gumshoe stood with the spear in his hands, trying to imagine the moment of the murder. Just then, a fellow officer wanted to ask Gumshoe about his findings. He swoop his hand on Gumshoe's shoulder. Gumshoe fazed back. Unfortunately, he tripped on himself in an attempt to face the officer, so he fell onto the ground with a loud CRACK. The spear which he has been holding in his hands was now cracked right in the middle, looking more like a bloody stick than a murder weapon. Upon hearing a loud „GumSHOE! "from the local prosecutor, the officer dashed away, not wanting to be involved. Miles stood right next to the fallen detective. While Gumshoe tried to stand up, Edgeworth started lecturing him. „Good lord, Detective Gumshoe! What were you doing with that spear? Do you know that, if you had fallen at a slightly different angle, you could have easily killed yourself? I don't need a detective with a piercing, much less with a spear pierced through his chest! And this isn't the first time, too!" Gumshoe, face as red as an tomato, couldn't find any words to say, so he just looked down, ashamed of his clumsiness. After stopping for a dramatic pause, Edgeworth continued. „I'm pretty sure you know what this means, Detective." He knew. Another pay cut. His original pay wasn't bad, but with all those pay cuts, he could barely afford a package of instant noodles. "No… Not again… I… I can't live like that…"His eyes started watering. Maybe he wouldn't even have enough money to buy himself something to eat tonight. Edgeworth was watching in shock as Gumshoe started to burst into tears. For a moment, he just stood there, unable to explain Dick's behavior and having absolutely no idea of what to do. In an act of desperation, he put his hand on Gumshoe's shoulder, trying to comfort him. He kept crying. Miles figured out he was supposed to say something, anything, so he just babbled the first sentence that was on his mind. „I'm sorry, Detective; I didn't mean to be so rude. How about I treat you to dinner?" Gumshoe's face lighted up. He couldn't believe what just happened.

The best prosecutor in the Prosecutor's offices just offered to treat him, a lowly detective, to dinner. „You would do that, sir?"

Now Edgeworth was the one who was uncomfortable. Wright already invited him for a friendly talk, but this hope kept Gumshoe from crying even more. Must he make a promise he knows he can't keep? "I can't let Wright down. Perhaps, if I leave him a message and pay for his dinner, he could forgive me?" Edgeworth made up his mind. "Yes, Detective. We'll go to the burger joint after work. Now, if you please, get going with your investigation." Edgeworth retained his aura of control. Gumshoe jumped and exclaimed: „Right away, sir!", before skipping to talk to his co-workers. "Looks like I got through this one. Let's just hope he doesn't spend too much…"

After his shift was over, Gumshoe raced to the burger joint. Upon entering, he scanned the room. No signs of Edgeworth. Dissapointed, he turned to leave. At that moment, the waiter exclaimed: "Sir! Sir, please wait a second!" Gumshoe turned to see a young man walk to him. "You must be Detective Gumshoe?" "Yup! How did you know that, pal?"

"A man recently gave us your description and a message." The man handed Gumshoe the note and ran to serve the other customers.

Gumshoe read the note. "Dear Detective Gumshoe, I'm really sorry, but for reasons above me, I am unable to accompany you this evening. I've talked to the owner, so anything you order will be on me. Have a pleasant evening. Signed, Miles Edgeworth."

Gumshoe stared into the wall. "So, he's not coming? That's a bummer." Gumshoe put the note in his pocket. "But, if I can eat what I want…" He rubbed his hands with a wide grin on his face.

The waiter brought Gumshoe one extra large hamburger, a big portion of french fries and a large Coke. "My tummy is gonna enjoy this!" Gumshoe started feasting on the burger and fries, just hoarding more and more into his mouth. Every now and then, he would gulp down a large sip of Coke. Truly, if anyone were to look at him, they would probably think that that green-coated man hasn't eaten anything in weeks. But, that's just Gumshoe.

After eating to his heart's contents, Gumshoe found himself still sitting by the table of the burger joint. His reason for staying was simple: he had nothing better to do. No one waited for him at home, and it was too late to hang out with his colleagues.

He decided that as long as nobody tells him to bugger out of the joint, he might as well stay there trying to entertain himself.

He watched the television placed near the entrance of the joint, but he became bored. He wanted some action, but there was nothing else except documentaries.

Gumshoe thought about other ways to pass the time. Deep in thoughts, his fingers were subconsciously grabbing the fries and playing with them.

A lion roared on the TV. Gumshoe came back to reality, finding fries in his hands. For a moment he thought about throwing them away, but then an idea occurred to him. Why not play a little game with the fries? No one would notice, he's bored out of his mind and he can't think of a better thing to do!

In just a few moments, he thought of a simple movie to play out with fries as the actors. His main star was Gordon Fryman, Defender of Justice! Gordon smashed and bashed all the bad fry-dudes, leaving only cracked fries with ketchup pouring over their wounds. After a great deal of fighting, Gordon Fryman saved an attractive young girl by the name of Fryanne. Just as they were about to kiss for the very first time, the girl has been swooped away by a new nefarious foe: Pirate Fry! "Arr, ya' bloody dirtbag don't deserve such a sparklin' beauty! I declare this 'ere miss property of Pirate Fry!" Stunned, Gordon backed down a few steps. He knew he was about to enter the fight of his life. Can he save Fryanne, the love of his life? Can he vanquish the evil Pirate Fry? Will justice prevail?

Edgeworth wasn't able to concentrate. Although Wright tried his best to make Miles at home, couldn't keep himself from worrying about Gumshoe. He was so happy when Miles said he'll have dinner with him, that Miles was certain his heart was crushed when Dick read his note. Gumshoe is a simple man with simple pleasures, there's no doubt about it, so just a small dinner probably meant a lot to him. Yet, Miles stepped over his word. His conscience didn't give him a moment of peace, so he couldn't wait for the whole introduction to be over.

When Phoenix and Miles parted it was already dark outside. Miles was exhausted from work, so he decided that he'll just eat somewhere out, because he didn't have enough energy to cook. Looking for the a place which wouldn't be far away from his route home, Miles went to the same joint he and Gumshoe were supposed to dine in. He opened the door, but didn't step inside. Gumshoe was still in here. While trying to think of an excuse, Miles stared at the detective who still hasn't noticed him. In a few moments, he realized that Gumshoe, covered with small ketchup stains and with a few fries on his lap, was in fact playing with his food. But he wasn't just twiddling a bit with his fries, oh no, he was entirely devoted to some kind of fantasy while yelling incoherent phrases and bumping the fries into each other. He looked a bit, in lack of a better word, deranged.

Miles just turned and went away from the joint. He was now sure that Gumshoe had bigger problems than Miles not showing up.


End file.
